Report periods can be very stressful times for students and parents. Fear of failure or not meeting expectations can have everyone feeling a bit on edge, but let’s remind ourselves what reports actually are – a snapshot in time showing progress in specific areas, an opportunity to understand what went well and what was difficult, and a chance to reflect on current habits. Reports do not define your child or set limits of their potential. With this in mind, here are some ways to positively and productively approach talking with your child about their report.
- Find time to talk about the report without distractions. Begin by calmly, and without judgement, asking your child how they feel about their report. Listen carefully to what they say without interrupting. This process of reflection is very important for them. Ask them how they might do better in the future and what you can do to help them? Teacher comments usually offer advice on how to move forward.
- Focus on Effort over Grades and praise, praise, praise what your child has done well or improved upon. Motivation to do better does not come from insults or punishments. Motivation comes from true understanding, positive support and self-confidence. So, before jumping into what went wrong, focus on what went right. Even the smallest improvement is worth praise. Begin by asking your child what they feel proud about. You may be surprised by what they say and their comments might help you understand them better.
- Avoid Comparisons with others. Your child is unique and so is their path to success. Their achievements may look different from others, but they are still achievements. Remind your child, and yourself, of this and keep the conversation focused on his/her challenges and successes as compared to their past reports. Comparison with others can skew a child’s self-perspective, lower their self-esteem and create conflict with peers.
- Set Goals and Make a Plan that works for everybody. Meet with teachers to discuss what topics or work habits may need to change. Set one or two specific goals to work towards and make an action plan for how to do this. Avoid too many goals because this may be overwhelming and potentially unsuccessful.
For example, if turning in homework on time is problematic, make this a goal. Discuss why this is a problem and what can be done to improve. Maybe your child needs your help to remember assignments or finds the task difficult. Do certain routines need changing, such as: less screen time, set study times, fewer after school activities, or an earlier bedtime? Once the goal is set, check in with your child throughout the next term to see how they are doing and positively support them along the way..
One step at a time!